You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize