I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
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