Please, let me fuck your mom
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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