one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
