the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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