I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
