Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I want her autograph on my taint
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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