He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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