Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
