I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
