I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
