Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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