this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
