She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
