Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
