he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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