He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
