she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
