Sry I called you an 8
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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