We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
