those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
