I think my fart just growled at me.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Welp...herpes.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
