Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He shit in the fireplace
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
