just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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