You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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