"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
