piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
