dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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