U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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