is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
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Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
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I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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