I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
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You're never too old to catch an STD. In fact STD rates among the elderly have been rising drastically in recent years because of ED drugs and because older Americans never really paid attention to the safer-sex lectures in the '80s and '90s, when most of them were in monogamous marriages.
@GetOffMyLawn: youre why we cant have nice things.