Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
