He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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