oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
