Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
