From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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