Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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