Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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