No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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