Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
