Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
