No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
