I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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