Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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