We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
