apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
