I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it because I queefed?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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