I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
then he tried to convert me to islam
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
