Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
