she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
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I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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