Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
