I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
