doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
