She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
