that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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