Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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