I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
