If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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