Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
