i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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