OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
