i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
