before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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