i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
