I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
COCAINE IS GR8
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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