Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
