i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize