I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize